From the vaults, a memurendum of a chair from my past

My behind rests on a seating instrument that feels hard and looks red. There rests on the ground four wheels.  On my uneven floor, it rolls towards the air conditioning and heating unit if I let my feet up or my guard down. On carpet, the wheels spin less easily. Hair gets caught in the wheels over time, giving the it an anthropomorphic quality. The chair rotates around the base with a long connected track that spirals around the shaft of the mechanism that holds the chair up off the ground, a corresponding track on the inside allows for vertical movement. A counter clockwise turn brings the chair down, and a clockwise turn brings it back up to a level that I can more comfortably play the plastic drums on. At the highest setting (or sitting) the chair still does not go high enough for my feet to not touch the ground. The other day the chair let out a loud pop, but when I investigated I could notice no signs of damage.

A small hole exists in the back rear the near of the seat, designed to act as a window to the visually amusing butt-crack of the sittee. I often put both legs up onto the chair and assume a sort of squatting position, but this puts stress on the seating apparatus as a ring shaped area of lighter plastic suggests buckling from my great weight. The red plastic has an almost candy appled glossy texture and quality though slightly less sticky. The plastic piece of the raising and lowering mechanism loosened from the metal base over time, spinning alone no longer has the outcome of going up and down. Glue applied to the plastic would sufficiently secure the part back together, but for now holding the plastic to the metal will suffice. When tapped on, the chair creates an audible *thwang*.

One might wash the chair with window cleaner or similar solutions, but one might seem weird doing so. This chair does not have rests for ones arms, good for elbowing nearby sitters, but not looking important. My chair comfortably cradles my rear. Bought at IKEA Atlanta the Swedish crafted chair came unassembled. Not counting the wheels, there came only four parts to assemble: the seat, the shaft, the base and the base cross-section cover. If I put a price on my chair I would say thirty dollars.

-Alex Barrella January 28th 2009

On a sadder note, the chair ended up buckling under my weight and has been replaced with a blue model.